Critiques of Ready Player One

Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
– John Adams

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but they are not entitled to their own facts.
– Daniel Patrick Moynihan (attributed)

And at last our rules have reached stability, and we regard them now with the virtuous pride of men who have persisted in a great undertaking and arrived at precision after much tribulation.
– H.G. Wells, Little Wars

Singing the strong light works of engineers,

The earth to be spann’d, connected by net-work,
The people to become brothers and sisters,
The races, neighbors, to marry and be given in marriage,
The oceans to be cross’d, the distant brought near,
The lands to be welded together.
– Walt Whitman, Passage to India

I had thought we were past the distinctions between high culture and low culture, that we were past exclusionary fandom, that we were able to celebrate a diversity of cultural experiences. But then I read the reviews of Ready Player One and it was clear that we are still back in 1980s high school.

I have never read a review of a Western where the critic first needed to declare, in no uncertain terms, that he was not a cowboy, nor have I read a review of The French Connection that felt it necessary to critique car culture before mentioning the car chase. But somehow critics seem to feel the need to state that they are definitely not geeks or fans of video games when reviewing Ready Player One. It’s as if they’re all I-r0k, loudly proclaiming “If I didn’t spend so much time offline, getting laid…” Is this some high school clique thing all over again? The theatre club in one corner of the cafeteria looking down on the D&D club? Because you know, pretending to be someone else on a stage is totally different than pretending to be someone else in a game.

Or the reviews are full of praise about how Spielberg removed all the yucky geekiness from the book. Yeah, I know, I like Midsummer Night’s Dream, but only if the director takes out all that weird magic stuff.

If you think I’m exaggerating:

  • The Outline – ‘Ready Player One’ is a terrible book and it will be a terrible movie
  • Vox – Ready Player One is a truly awful book. I’m really looking forward to the movie.
  • (I could go on for many lines, but you get the idea.)

The New York Times tries to do a balanced review, but then has a line like this:

I, for one, didn’t quite understand why, given the global reach of the Oasis, all the relevant players were so conveniently clustered in Ohio. (If anyone wants to explain, please find me on Twitter so I can mute you.)

Can you imagine this is some other context? In a review of Jerry Maguire? “I for one, don’t quite understand what a touchdown is. (If anyone wants to explain, please find me on Twitter so I can mute you.)”

Because that’s where we still are apparently. We’re still in a world where the New York Times can have entire sections about games with invented rules, called Sports and Finance, but no section about video games, even though video games are a $36 billion industry.

“Get a life!” said William Shatner infamously in his 1986 Saturday Night Live skit. Over 30 years later, we get the spectacle of critics bringing all their insightful expertise and analysis together to say… Get a life. Quite the progress we’ve made.

Oh but it’s ok, if you’re dismissing those people, the ones with the weird obsessions.

Can you imagine the New York Times reviewing a performance of Das Rheingold and talking about the magic silver bracelet? Repeatedly? Can you imagine the outraged erudite letters?

But the New York Times has no problem reviewing Guardians of the Galaxy and talking about “the blue rock”. Um, it’s not blue, it’s purple. I know that doesn’t matter to you, New York Times, but it matters in the context of the movie. There are six infinity stones, they have different colours with different powers, Marvel just spent literally a decade and well over a billion dollars building up to a movie about them. But hey, who cares about rules and facts.

You can’t have it both ways. You can’t say that the invented rules and resulting facts of sports and your other favoured cultures are important, and the invented rules and facts of video games and comic book movies aren’t.

But we all know how this goes, The Onion explained it long ago: Walking Sports Database Scorns Walking Sci-Fi Database.

Put on a Star Trek uniform and go to an event where you pretend to understand people up on a stage talking in Klingon? Weird.
Put on a tuxedo and go to an event where you pretend to understand people up on a stage singing in Italian? Totally normal. Opera! High culture!

Opera which is all about ridiculous and often magical turns of events. Which uses absurd spectacle to take you to the highs and lows of human emotion. Which is totally different from a comic book movie, which uses absurd spectacle to… well you get the idea.

SCENA I                               SCENE I
Figaro con una misura in mano e       Figaro has a measuring-stick in hand 
Susanna allo specchio che si sta      and Susanna stands in front of the mirror, 
mettendo un capellino ornato di       trying on a hat decorated with 
fiori                                 flowers.
N. 1 Duettino                         No. 1 Duet
FIGARO:                               FIGARO:
[misurando]                           [measuring] 
Cinque ... dieci ... venti ...        Five ...  ten ...  twenty ...  
trenta ... trentasei ... quarantatre. thirty ...  thirty-six ...  forty-three.

Yes, opera, featuring… counting. In Italian!

Anyway, Anna Russell can do a much better job of the absurdities of opera than I can.

Is Ready Player One an amazing book? No. I will readily admit it is a book about horrible people. But lots of books (and movies, and opera, and theatre) are about horrible people, that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t exist, or that they aren’t entertaining.

Please don’t dismiss entire genres. There are people who like those genres. You’re dismissing actual people, or worse saying they shouldn’t even exist. And don’t try to take some lonely kid sitting in front of a computer in 1986 and try to paint him as some symbol of 2018’s online trolls or misogynists or whatever current cultural problems you want to critique.

I’m not going to write sports reviews or opera reviews; I don’t know anything about sports and opera. But if you like them, I’m not going to tell you that you’re wrong. Who am I to tell you how to experience culture?

Brandon (Justin Long) and his friends in Galaxy Quest? They’re just having fun. Just because it’s not your idea of fun, doesn’t mean that you should just dismiss them.

I did find some reviews that I could identify with:

It’s fair to be critical of something within its own context. That can be useful. Does it follow its own rules? Does it fit in its own genre? io9 did a critical review of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen that is a kind of masterpiece. There is lots to critique out there, there are lots of terrible movies. But just because a movie or a book is in a genre doesn’t mean you get to automatically dismiss it. Terminator 2 is a powerful movie about nuclear war. Wall-E is a powerful movie about loneliness. Science fiction, fantasy, gaming… they can all bring real insights. And they can also just be fun.

The point being, this is all just invented rules for our entertainment. Enjoy what you enjoy.  Bridge the arts and technology, connect genres. Have empathy. Be inclusive.

xkcd 1480: Super Bowl

What to watch instead of Ready Player One 2018

What is a better Ready Player One movie than Ready Player One (2018)?

The correct answer is The Lego Movie (2014).  I would also accept the original Tron (1982) although I would award fewer points.

Movies About Gaming and Escape

Ready Player One (the book) is about escaping into a game, into a world where you use your creativity to solve challenges. The closest era fit is the original Tron from 1982. But I think The Lego Movie does an even better job of celebrating play and the mixing together of your creativity with pop culture, understanding loneliness, and being a fun movie.

Wreck-It Ralph (2012) is a great celebration of both classic arcade games and the evolution to more advanced games.

The Neverending Story (1984) is a better story about loneliness and creativity and escape. (For that matter, so is 1982’s E.T., by a director who shall remain nameless.)

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) has some appalling stereotypes, and redeems itself only somewhat by subverting them in-game. But nevertheless, it understands game mechanics, including using the mechanics of the game against itself, and it is funny. Also, because you can die in-game, you get a sense of peril when e.g. the helicopter is being fixed in flight, that you never get in Ready Player One (2018).

Edge of Tomorrow (2014) is not strictly speaking a video game movie but in its live-die-repeat mechanics manages to capture the essence of a particular type of game where you keep replaying the same level in order to advance.

I look forward, possibly after several more failed attempts, to a Ready Player One remake that eventually gets it right.

How to watch the Ready Player One 2018 movie

(For fans of the 2011 book.)

0001 watch WarGames (1983)
0002 play a favourite video arcade game e.g. Asteroids, in an emulator
0003 play D&D, or reminisce about D&D with your old group, or re-read an old module
0004 optionally watch Ladyhawke (1985), even though the swords look like they’re made          of tinfoil and the soundtrack is full of synthesizers
0005 watch Real Genius (1985)
0006 watch Star Wars IV (1977), V (1980) and VI (1983)
0007 watch Back to the Future (1985)
0008 watch Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
0009 watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
0010 watch favourite episodes of Star Trek (The Original Series, 1966-1969)
0011 watch Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982),
         Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984) and Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986)
0012 listen to some 80s music you like
0013 watch Star Blazers season 1 (1979)
0014 play Joust (1982) in an emulator
0015 play Zork (Zork I, 1980)
0016 watch The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension (1984)
0017 watch Max Headroom (TV series, 1987-1988)
0018 watch The Last Starfighter (1984)
0019 watch The Neverending Story (1984)
0020 watch Blade Runner (1982) – whichever cut you prefer
0021 listen to Rush’s 2112, if you like Rush
0022 watch Highlander (1986)
0023 enjoy some classic Schoolhouse Rock (1973-1985)
0024 watch Short Circuit (1986)
0025 play Tempest in an emulator
0026 re-read Ready Player One, the 2011 book
0027 don’t watch Ready Player One, the 2018 movie

Because Ready Player One, the 2018 movie is … Beyond lame.  Highlander II lame.

April 8, 2018  Ready Player One (2018) short review

watching The X-Men

Basically the way this works is there is a set of characters in the original movies, and then there are some younger versions of the characters in the First Class movies (except for Wolverine, who remains a constant).  I like the X-Men First Class (younger versions) sequence better.  I find the movies funnier, more clever and with more interesting character dynamics.  I also appreciated the Star Trek callouts.

X-Men (2000) – watch
X2 (2003) – watch
X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) – X-Men 3 – this is terrible.  skip.

X-Men: First Class (2011) – X-Men First Class 1 – watch
The Wolverine (2013) – I haven’t seen.  Doesn’t have good reviews.
X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) – X-Men First Class 2 – watch
Deadpool (2016) – I refuse to view this
X-Men: Apocalypse (2017) – X-Men First Class 3 – watch
Logan (2017) – Wolverine 2 – Supposed to be good, but harrowing.  I haven’t seen.


The timelines of the two overlapping X-Men can be a bit confusing to sort out.

First Class is in 1962.

Days of Future Past is in 1973 (mostly).
In my opinion, Days of Future Past alters the future so that the terrible The Last Stand never happened.  In Days of Future Past they also make it look like Mystique is saving Wolverine from Stryker, but clearly he is eventually captured, because we see him imprisoned in Apocalypse.  (Presumably they had to do this to keep some integrity in the timeline.)

Apocalypse is in 1983.

It’s not clear to me exactly what years X1/2/3 are set in.  Looks like they are more or less set in their release years, sometime in the early 2000s.


More movies are coming of course.  The next one in the First Class sequence is apparently Dark Phoenix.